How to Be Your Own Best Friend

By Lisa Phillips

Good grief, what does it take these days to be proud of our achievements, regardless of the outcome?  Have we become a society where only perfection is good enough?   Why do we find it so hard to actually pat ourselves on the back and say well done, whether it for qualifying for the Olympic or managing to get the kids off to school on time?

love yourself first

Isn’t it interesting that often we have more patience and kindness towards strangers that we do to ourselves?   I am sure you would never speak to other people the way that you speak to yourself?

Most of us don’t even realise when we beat ourselves up with a big stick, putting ourselves down, cringing when we look in the mirror or telling ourselves that there is something wrong with us.   We often spend far too much time comparing ourselves  to other people thinking we are ‘ Not good enough’    The sad thing is that many of us are so used to treating ourselves this way that we don’t know any different.  It is really just a bad habit.

The fact is, we rarely praise ourselves for our achievements or speak lovingly to ourselves on a daily basis. 

Get honest with yourself – Do you treat your friends better than you treat yourself?   

When is the last time you spoke encouraging to yourself or soothed yourself when you were upset or sad?    When did you last give yourself a pat on the back or told yourself what a blooming fabulous person you really are?

Learning to treat yourself with love and respect is the highest gift you can give yourself. Surely you deserve your own love? 

Ok,  here are few of my favorite action steps for learning to be your own best friend. You don’t have to do them all, just pick one and commit to doing it for at least 30 days. In my next column I will be sharing more hints and tips for you to work on.  No excuses! As a Life Coach for 10 years, I have heard them all! So, what are you waiting for, get on with it!


Action Steps

1)      Every morning, commit to treating yourself with patience and kindness.   If you can just say a few nice encouraging things to yourself every day then this will start to build up that self-esteem muscle.

2)      Each evening, write down ten nice things about yourself.  Yes 10.  No excuses, You can do it and you are worth it.

3)      Praise yourself every time you look in the mirror.  Even a ‘Well done’ for a good day at work is sufficient!

4)      Treat yourself like you would a five year old child.   Give yourself compassion and encouragement. Feeling scared about something?  Soothe yourself and tell yourself you will be ok and you will handle it. Who cares if you didn’t get it right first time?  Give yourself a break for not being perfect

Have a fabulous week and be nice to yourself!



About Lisa Phillips - Lisa Phillips is a Life and Business Coach based in Sydney. Lisa has been coaching for over ten years and is regularly featured on TV and Radio. She also has her own coaching column and radio show. Her objective is to assist women feel great about themselves and let go of old baggage. To find out more about Lisa’s work and read her blog, please check out