Untie yourself from “the voices” in your head … and here’s how

By Miriam Castilla

We all have voices in our heads, we just don’t really notice them most of the time.

We’re so used to them we forget they’re there. But they ARE there. They’re a backing track to all that we do and they act as a lens through which we see our world.

Actually – it’s usually not a whole bunch of voices, but just a single voice – yours.

The next time you’re driving along, walking down the street or just sitting there, sipping your latte, tune in.

Before you try that, I better let you know that voice is really sneaky. If you just straight up listen in, it’ll know you’re onto it and instantly go quiet. You’ll need to eavesdrop on it – use your peripheral listening skills.


You see, your inner voice isn’t actually trying to talk to your conscious mind. It’s talking to your sub-conscious mind. When you bring your conscious mind’s attention to it, you’ll suddenly hear nothing but silence. It behaves like a gossiping teenager who’s been busted. You’re not meant to be actively listening, so you have to learn to be sneaky as well.

Eavesdrop. Pretend to be busy with other stuff. Don’t interrupt or comment on what you hear. Just listen in.

If you’re the average human being who’s not actively working on that inner dialogue at the moment, you may be shocked by how much of the chatter that’s going on is highly negative. You’ll hear all sorts of things.

“I wonder if I look fat in this skirt.” “Sh#t! I put on way too much mascara today – I look like Alice Cooper!” “God, morning traffic sucks!” “I hope my electricity bill doesn’t come this month – I’m broke.” “That woman yesterday really pissed me off. I should have told her XYZ.” “My boyfriend hasn’t called me today. I wonder if there’s something wrong?”

The list goes on and on. The stream of unconsciousness flows, unchecked and unfettered.

Imagine if this was a parent speaking to a child. Are they doing that kid any favours? Unlikely.

Well, your negative self talk is not doing you any favours either, honey!

When you talk to yourself this way, the world around you will obediently match your expectations.

So if you want things in life to improve – a better job, better health, more love and nicer friends – you need to start by putting your focus on the things which will make your life that way. You need to change your self talk.

Why don’t you decide to tell yourself some good stuff instead?

How about this? “This skirt makes my legs look great.” “I love this shortcut I found.” “I always find the money to pay my bills.” “That woman yesterday must’ve been having a bad day.” “I have a day to myself – awesome! I’m having a bubble bath after work.”

Which head would you rather spend some time in? I know which one I’d choose…

Most of our life is played out in our heads. We can choose to see the glass as half empty or half full – it’s our choice. Even if your day’s not going so well, you can choose to focus on something good that will come from it, a person that cared enough to help or you can simply decide not to expend a huge amount of energy stressing over something you cannot change.

Awareness is always the catalyst for change. Once you start to listen in, you become aware. Once you’ve become aware, you can start making changes.

Simply stopping the stream of negative chatter is a good start. When you catch it happening, just choose to put a stop to it. Simple – but effective. And a great place to start.

I’ll give you some ideas on how to replace that automatic negative chatter with some automatic positive chatter next time.

Till then – stay gorgeous!




About Miriam Castilla - Hi, I'm the author of 'Today's Woman - Life Balance Secrets' due for international release this year. I empower and support entrepreneurial women with a 360 degree 'Full Circle' approach to overcoming stress, guilt & overwhelm. I help you first up figure out what your core values are and what you REALLY want out of life, then give you the practical mindset, time and money management tools to finally create that lasting success & fulfillment you desire. Come visit www.miriamcastilla.com to find out more and get 'In The Loop' - my weekly newsletter with more tips & tricks for you. xx Miriam