The Man of Your Dreams Lives! Why you should never ‘Settle’…

By Sasha Fedorovsky

When it comes to relationship advice, an ongoing debate persists whether one should consider  ‘lowering’ her standards and settling for a partner whose resume does not quite meet the job application of ‘Man of My Dreams’. To clarify this advise of ‘settling’ is only ever given to women and never to men. Men don’t seem to settle they only ‘punch above their weight’.

Ladies, whatever you do – DON’T settle!

Despite popular belief and mainstream media, we women aren’t actually that picky and often date men we don’t even find that attractive – in hope of ‘warming’ up to the idea. Another common symptom of settling is finding someone with ‘potential’ and hoping to mould him into a suitable human being. As a comparison, when it comes to career or any other life ambitions no one will ever give you the advice of settling for second best, instead they will tell you to keep reaching for the stars, believing in yourself and of course never giving up. This kind of advice should also be applicable to our love lives (but is rarely offered). Yes, I understand that for some of us the biological clock is ticking like a time bomb in our purse, but remember when one acts in fear or desperation the results are never pretty.

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If you feel that you are settling then you are. At this point my advice is to politely say goodbye and run…quickly. No one is saying to wait for Prince Harry to breakup with his girlfriend and come to your front door with a sparkly tiara! Just have enough self love to meet a man that at least excites you. As women we are very good at overlooking bad qualities in a man, it’s likely we are wired that way so that our species continues to procreate. Everyone has different key qualities and values that they look for in a partner, it is ok to be a little bit ‘picky’ and hold out for these. Just be clear on the key qualities for you and make sure you know why you want them. It’s ok to want something specific in a partner but make sure they actually work for you and your needs rather then what society tells you.

 

No relationship is perfect; people will have their good and bad. As time goes past the bad will get worse so it is important to see enough good in the person to continue to overlook the bad. This is a key reason why settling for someone just to be in a relationship does not work. Women who are in a relationship that don’t meet their needs often come to a point when they can no longer put up with it – because the heart wants what the heart wants. Looking back at relationships like this will leave a bad taste in ones mouth, similar to drinking milk a few days past its use-by date. Sometimes we might attempt to put the milk in our coffee just because we have no other option at the time, but we soon find out that the coffee would have been better on its own!

 

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Like everything else that is worth having, patience is necessary. You might meet many men but you won’t meet a special someone everyday – that is why it’s called ‘special’. There are ‘good’ men out there and more importantly there are women out there in relationships with men they love, men they wouldn’t want to trade for anyone in this world. Can you really ‘settle’ knowing that these kinds of relationships exist? Are you willing to waste your precious time on this planet with someone you don’t love or respect, if somewhere out there in the future you could meet the love of your life?

The world we live in is full of possibilities and your life can change dramatically in a day if you are open to it. Just because your past relationship history looked a certain way does not mean that it is forever set in stone. The man of your dreams lives, he exists and when you meet him you will know.

 

Happy dating!

 

Love S. xox

About Sasha Fedorovsky - S from 'The V&S Show'!