We hope you had a tip top 2013, unlike some of these folks……

By Cameron Cook

New Years Break Up! 

It’s unfortunately splitsville for major hottie Ryan Gosling and girlfriend Eva Mendes. According to well informed (as always!) sources, the couple decided that they were heading way too quickly towards marriage and they just weren’t ready. So they are having a break to re-evaluate their relationship. Too bad, so sad. Now I guess they will be dating other people while they think and re-evaluate. I bags first date with Ryan! Call me Ryan! Call ME! And relax.

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Lindsay Lohan Can Read! 

Alright, maybe not read, but she can write! Well apparently she can. Ok, the ghost writer can! Why is this important? Well old Linds is negotiating with publishers to “write” a tell all book based on the journals she kept while in her various rehab stints. To make the book slightly more interesting she will also include “full” details on her past battles with drugs, booze, men, women, unemployment, employment and her vile family. Ok, I might read it. Alright, I will. Now let’s get this book written and published STAT!

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Sloppy Seconds! 

Poor old Khloe Kardashian. Still at the starting blocks of what promises to be a very messy divorce, she has already started dating again. Such a Kardashian thing to do! She has been seen with baseballer Matt Kemp. Now he used to date Rihanna back in 2010. Rihanna has quite publicly said how lame she finds the Kardashians and she is convinced Khloe is seeing Matt because he used to date her. She has also let slip that it’s a big come down in the world from Rihanna to Khloe and that Khloe is welcome to her sloppy seconds. Did you get all that? It’s tough being a quasi celebrity isn’t it!

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The End Of The World Is Nigh! 

Why would I say this? Well I am convinced that one of the signs of the apocalypse is the return of the Cyruses. No, it’s not just Miley now. Her father Billy Ray (achy breaky heart), her mother Tish (yes, that is her name) and siblings Brandi, Trace and Noah have decided to launch a You Tube channel. It is called Seriously Cyrus. Yes, I am serious. “TV” brilliance is sure to come from shows such as Truly Tish and Seriously Social. Seriously Social is where Brandi keeps us up to date on the families Twitter and Facebook posts. God help us all!

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2014! 

Well, that’s 2013 all done and dusted! Thanks for logging on and reading away. Now please remember to have a very safe and very happy new year. No drink driving. No fighting. No unsafe sex. No getting in the gossip columns! (Unless it’s totally juicy of course!) 

Hello Kitty Happy New Year

 

 

About Cameron Cook - They did what? Well let me tell you! Yes, it's Cam with all your gossip/trash/innuendo and maybe even real news to keep you up to date on all the important stuff! Catch me every Thursday on Joy 94.9 (joy.org.au) as I spread the word over the Melbourne FM airwaves. Have you got a gossip tip? Send it through, as sharing is caring you know. Tweet me too folks! I'm at @camtrashaddict on Twitter. (It suits me doesn't it!)