I’m outta here! You stay… And so much more!

By Cameron Cook

I’m outta here! You stay.

First up today, let’s talk divorce. You know in the rarified world of the celebrity and the “I think I know who you are” folks, it’s not such a dirty word.

Our first pending divorce of the week is Paul Hogan. Yes, “Hoges” has split from wife number 2, “actress” Linda Koslowski. You may remember them both from happier times when they starred in Crocodile Dundee. Yes, that is all you will remember them from. Paul Hogan showed how devastated he was by the split when he was asked  if it was difficult to leave Linda after 23 years. He simply said no. When the love dies, it’s really dead. Like their careers.

Then there was the other not so surprising separation. Clint and Dina Eastwood have split after 16 years of marriage and one child. This was an on again off again divorce. Dina originally filed for divorce a month ago, then withdrew the application. She has now re-filed, citing irreconcilable differences. Is that still divorce code for “I hate you so much”? Anyway, she wants a stack of money and for Clint to pay her lawyers bills. Lucky Clint still has a career and can earn some money to pay poor old Dina. Is it time for Dirty Harry to make a comeback?

Then there was the other seperation. It was Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr doing the splitting up. After a mere 3 years of marriage they were over! The usual line about too much time apart and still loving each and both being there for young Flynn. Again, the “I don’t really like you anymore” part has been left out. Am I just too cynical? Maybe. Oh well, it is sad, but at least they have their work on opposite sides of the world to keep them busy and on opposite side of the world. Win win!

Orlando and Miranda split

Bad bad Boy

Serial bad boy/disgrace, Chris Brown may well finally be headed to jail! After his violent assault on Rihanna, he was let off lightly with 5 years of probation. The probation meant he had to be a very good boy for the full five years. Now we just all know how well that went don’t we! Well, it got even worse. First there was the hit and run charges in August which he kept out of court after reaching agreement with the other party. Translation, lots of money was paid by Chris Brown to other party.

But now his trouble are way bigger. After a very ugly incident where he punched a man in Washington, Chris Brown had headed to rehab. No, not drug or alcohol rehab. Anger management rehab! I know, I never knew there was such a thing either! Of course, for those with a brain, this was a transparent effort to run away from potential probation problems. Surprise surprise though, it didn’t work. The LA County Probation Department are reported to be “pissed” at what Chris Brown has been up to. Word is they are going submit a scathing report to the judge, recommending he be thrown in jail for up to four years! Let’s now wait on the judges decision. I think we should have a pool running on this too. I say he’ll get put away for the full years. Just what the nasty thing deserves I say! I’m sure Chris Brown will be popular in jail too.

Chris Brown is bad

Lets Get Engaged!
Yes, the family that lives breathes, sweats and bleeds money, the Kardashians, have a well filmed engagement to celebrate! Kim Kardashian is now engaged to superstar of the rap world, Kanye West. Fresh from popping out the daughter and heir, they have continued their unlikely relationship and moved onto engagement. In a total and utter surprise (cough cough) Kanye popped the question at AT&T Park in San Francisco. It’s an intimate little mega stadium. He asked her in the middle of the field while a crowd on friends and assorted hangers on watched, an orchestra played music, a professional film crew filed it and the score board lit up with the words “PLEESE MARRY MEEE!!!” Classy. Kanye also reportedly has set aside a mere $23 million for the quiet, low key wedding. As a side note, the privacy seeking couple are now suing the man they think leaked the proposal video. They claim he breached their privacy. Hmmm. They did quietly mention that the footage was destined for an upcoming episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Cant wait for that episode. Should we start the pool on how short the marriage will be this time yet? (I think I’ll put my money on he dumps her before the wedding!)

More Kardashian Crap! 

Well, it’s looking like a clean sweep of divorce for the Kardashian clan. Kim is now officially divorced. (Again.)  Khloe and Courtney look like heading in the same direction too. Well, Mum and Step-Dad, Kim and Bruce Jenner are history! They have headed their separate ways and both already started dating. Kris has had a go with Britneys ex and Bruce is just hunting for any skirt he can get. They are a KLASSY family! Oh, and to top it all off, someone, probably Kris, has released the story about Bruce having a big thing for girls underwear. There really is always something going on in that family!

Kim and Kanye Engaged

Great News for Kelly!

Don’t worry, it’s not all doom and gloom you know. Let’s all say a big congratulations to brilliant songstress Kelly Clarkson on getting hitched. She looked beautiful in white (No comment!) as she married Brandon Blackstock. Let’s all wish the brilliant singer all the happiness and a long marriage! Good luck Kelly!

Kelly Clarkson married

About Cameron Cook - They did what? Well let me tell you! Yes, it's Cam with all your gossip/trash/innuendo and maybe even real news to keep you up to date on all the important stuff! Catch me every Thursday on Joy 94.9 (joy.org.au) as I spread the word over the Melbourne FM airwaves. Have you got a gossip tip? Send it through, as sharing is caring you know. Tweet me too folks! I'm at @camtrashaddict on Twitter. (It suits me doesn't it!)